Tips and Advice

Getting Situated

Unless you live in certain areas of Boston, the gay scene might not be very apparent to you. If you're new to town, getting into the community is even more daunting. One of the first things to do is subscribe to The Queer Agenda (aka The List) which will send you a weekly mailing (email) with listing classifieds, jobs and volunteer opportunities, and women's events in and around Boston.

If you're more of a night owl and clubbing is more your scene, then the Lesbian Nightlife website and subscription will keep you up to date on the hottest girl parties in town.

When you're out and about, look for the newspaper dispenser for Bay Windows, New England's largest GLBT newspaper. You can usually find it in newspaper racks by T-stations. In it, you will find community events as well at GLBT news.

Meeting People

One of the main reasons why women come to our Coming Out Group at the Cambridge Women's Center is because they don't know how to meet other women. Sure they've heard of some of the hot spots, but how are you really supposed to meet new people at a cafe? Either everyone's already meeting up with friends, or they're there to do stuff by themselves like school work, slurping wifi, or catching up on the last chapters of a NY Times Bestseller. Same deal with clubs, right? Everyone pretty much shows up with an entourage, and the ones who show up alone, you've got to sort of think twice about.

So what do we recommend as some good starting points for making friends? Here's just a few:

• LBGT club at school: Almost all high schools and colleges have an LGBT or LGBT alliance club. Joining is a great way to meet friends at school.
• Social groups: Depending on what age group and interests you have, there is a social group that will suit your needs. They usually officially convene once a month, but you don't have to wait! A good way to meet people one on one before the group meets up is to join their mailing list and send a message to the group saying you're new in town and would like to meet other local people if anyone's interested. Another way to break the ice is to contact the group's organizer and ask her to introduce you to some of the members. Check out some of the groups on the Networking link.
• Get involved! If you're in school, places like Fenway Health and The Women's center offer internship opportunities for the semester. Even if you're not a student, you can still volunteer to do outreach through Fenway, or sign up for some shifts overseeing the Women's Center. During the months before Pride, you can also volunteer to be a Pride marshall, another great opportunity to meet people in the community.
• Support groups: If you feel uneasy about being out in public, support groups are still a good way to meet others. Most of them meet in an LGBT safe space and are confidential in nature. Find one near you and hopefully there will be local folks at your group that you can befriend. Some places offer "Rap" groups (i.e. The Lesbian Rap group at the Women's Center) which are sort of in between support groups and activity groups, where women can just meet up and talk about issues in a safe space.
• Online: I've had some mixed results trying to make friends over the internet -- but if you're a real go-getter, you could always put a blurb up on Craigslist, Friendster, Facebook, or Downelink mentioning that you are new in town and would like to meet others (make sure to say "as friends" or else you'll get all sorts of sketchy replies -- unless that's your kinda thing ...)